No matter if you’re an in-house recruiter for Google, or a recruiting consultant for a bootstrapped startup, recruiting is hard work. Recruiters are not only expected to work fast in order to find and interview the right candidates, but they must also build a strong employer brand all while ensuring candidates are happy along the way.
Sounds exhausting? It is. Which is why we think you deserve some comic relief, so, if you’re a recruiter, take 5 minutes to put your phone on silent, grab a treat from the kitchen and have a read of some of these hilarious interview and recruiting jokes:
40 Recruitment Jokes That Will Make You Spit Your Coffee Out
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “How long were you in your last position?”
The job applicant replies, “I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.”
A recruiter asks a candidate, “Why do you expect such a high salary when you have no experience in this field?”
The job applicant replies, “Well, the job is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Bus Driver Job Interview:
Interviewee: “Hey sorry I’m late.”
Interviewer: “You’re hired!”
Interviewer: “Tell us a little something about yourself…”
Candidate: “I’d rather not, I really want this job.”
Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?”
Candidate: “Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.”
“Your CV is bloated with half-truths, false praise, exaggeration and unsubstantiated accomplishments. I’d like to hire you to write our Annual Report.”
Interviewer: Would you be willing to relocate?
Candidate: Of course, where would you like me to sit?
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Candidate: The company relocated the office and forgot to tell me where it is.
A job applicant was asked, “What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?”
“Well,” he began, “My main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality. Sometimes I have a little trouble telling what’s real and what’s not.”
During a job interview yesterday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly.
“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.
I simple replied “No, I always give 110%”
Why did the elephant got rejected for a job? His qualifications were completely irrelephant.
15. And why did koala get the job? She had all the necessary koalafications.
Okay that’s the last punny one, we sincerely promise.
A man comes for a lumberjack’s recruitment interview:
Recruiter: Do you have any experience as a lumberjack, sir?
Man: Yes, I used to work in the desert.
Recruiter: But there are no trees in the desert!
Man: There are no trees… anymore, sir.
A candidate is being interviewed for a police officer position:
Recruiter: What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?
Candidate: Call for backup.
What is the most common job amongst spiders?
We really hope there are some dads reading these and laughing right now.
Recruiter: What drives you?
Candidate: The bus mostly.
Recruiter: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
Candidate: Missing the bus
A guy goes to Ikea for a job interview…
Recruiter: Welcome sir, nice to have you. Please assemble that chair over there and take a seat.
This one is truly haunting.
My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”
Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Wonder Woman.
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.” So I put it under my warm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my cell phone and said, “Bring back my laptop!”
I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
A recruiter asks a candidate, “What’s your biggest weakness?”
The applicant replies, “I don’t know when to quit.”
We kind of want to try this one. Just kidding HR if you’re reading this, we are all very happy in our jobs at Lusha.
Why did the scarecrow get the job?
He was outstanding in his field.
Again, this ones for the dads.
“I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.”
I recently started a recruitment agency that only deals with the underground mining industry.
It’s called, Staff It Where The Sun Don’t Shine.
This ones a bit cheeky, we love it.
“So what makes you right for this job?”
“I don’t really know, I just hacked your computer and invited myself to this interview.”
What did the new recruit think of his assignment as a minesweeper?
It’s a blast!
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “Can you can handle a variety of work?”
The job applicant replies, “I should be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”
A hiring manager asks a job candidate, “When do you find you’re most productive?”
The candidate responds, “When the bills are due.”
This one kills us every time, we’re pretty sure Freddy Mercury would’ve nailed the corporate interview process.
“Instead of my resume, I’ve printed out my daily horoscope for the past year. You’ll see that I’m a special person who’s destined for great things!”
“I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s really something I could see myself doing.”
“I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.”
“I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.”
During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” My son’s reply: “At the Dollar Store.” He got the job.
What to do post-recruitment-joke-giggle:
Well, we hope our list of 50 interview and recruitment jokes gave you a nice little break and a good laugh. We hope you’re feeling refreshed and ready to hire some epic candidates. But before you do, take a look at these pretty serious resources on how to tackle the recruitment game!