r/IQ exists to reveal the complex connections between individuals and couples, within families, and to self; and through greater understanding of these relationships, learn how to transform conflict, loss, crisis, and trauma into meaningful growth. As humans we share two things in common: 1) we are all, to some extent, insecure, and 2) to alleviate our insecurity, we need to belong, to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to be accepted. These findings serve as the basic building blocks for the concept of ‘relationship intelligence.’ Knowing what we need is the first step, learning how to get our needs met is the second and trickier part. The process of getting our belonging needs met involves understanding that it is our responsibility to teach others how to love us. In turn, we then find it in our hearts to learn how to love the other person.